I am overly emotional today and not in a good way.

It is my birthday week, I turned 22 two days ago. I know am supposed to be rejoicing that God has been merciful and gracious to add me one more year on this earth. not that am not happy, am just not rejoicing that at the moment. I know you are wondering what could be better than rejoicing being 22 and healthy, well that beats me too.

I am not sure I know why I am feeling this way, but I think it has to do with fact that am now 22 and besides school there is nothing else to show for these years I have been living.

I feel a mess inside, like a cocktail smoothie, everything has been mixed together. 

Honestly I don't have anything wise or important to write so I just came here today to lament and try and get my thoughts together and try and have a good day.

Being 22 is quite interesting though, besides the fact that I have been told that from here hence forth it is going to be a downhill track. I was told that I would never look as good as I do know, well, I say that is a matter we should leave open for observation.

I now have enemies, not that am proud of that, am just saying that there are people in this world who really don't like me and truth I also don't like them back, not even a little bit!

I could have written about how I have made new resolutions for this year but that would be a big fat lie. I just have two and they are not written down anywhere they are just in my head and in my heart. 

I want a different kind of life, actually not that I want to live my life differently that is I want a better me. The other one I cannot tell you now but in due time I will let you in on it.