Everyone is wounded in this generation. We move on too quickly from one relationship to the other, we do not give ourselves time to heal and refocus on our goals and expectations for relationships, as a result we are saddled with too much emotional luggage.

I belong to the younger category of the Y generation also known as the generation We, global generation, generation Next, the Net generation, millennials and Echo boomers this is in reference to the generation’s size relative to the 'baby boomers' who are our parents. 

We are spirited, aggressive, enterprising and brilliant. We are also skinny jeaned, floppy haired, massively entitled and whiny. We can barely function without social media or the internet. We do not know how to make calls or even talk in person. Our interpersonal skills are dead. Our lives are ruled by our gadgets. Due to this fact we treat our relationships no different.

Our relationships are limited to online chats, text messages and emails. We lack the patience to get to know each other completely and experience love the old fashioned way. We are quick to end and start new relationships owing to convenience.

The problem with everyone being wounded is that eventually our capacity to forgive and trust runs out. We have therefore learnt the art of sabotage and giving up easily. 

On my account, my soon to be former man, He gets angry he can’t forgive it has happened way too many times, not just with me but with every girl he has dated.

We have been having issues with my man. I needed to unwind so I went out with friends, I had a few too many drinks. My waist, well I realize it is easier to shake after a few drinks. 

I made a bad judgment call. 

And am angry that he is angry like he has no right to be. 

Because I forgave him, when he messed up, not once but many times…. Like that time I found another girl clothes at his place. They were at the bottom of the suitcase wrapped in his clothes but he claims that’s not hiding. I believed his version of events pertaining to how the owner ended up leaving her clothes there. I have to say though both accounts had too many loop holes.

Truth is I don’t want to be forgiven, I would not know what to do with forgiveness. It is easier to start a fresh than stay and work out things after trust has been broken.

Just like that this becomes another statistic to be made, a failed relationship that could have otherwise worked under different state of affairs.

I am overly emotional today and not in a good way.

It is my birthday week, I turned 22 two days ago. I know am supposed to be rejoicing that God has been merciful and gracious to add me one more year on this earth. not that am not happy, am just not rejoicing that at the moment. I know you are wondering what could be better than rejoicing being 22 and healthy, well that beats me too.

I am not sure I know why I am feeling this way, but I think it has to do with fact that am now 22 and besides school there is nothing else to show for these years I have been living.

I feel a mess inside, like a cocktail smoothie, everything has been mixed together. 

Honestly I don't have anything wise or important to write so I just came here today to lament and try and get my thoughts together and try and have a good day.

Being 22 is quite interesting though, besides the fact that I have been told that from here hence forth it is going to be a downhill track. I was told that I would never look as good as I do know, well, I say that is a matter we should leave open for observation.

I now have enemies, not that am proud of that, am just saying that there are people in this world who really don't like me and truth I also don't like them back, not even a little bit!

I could have written about how I have made new resolutions for this year but that would be a big fat lie. I just have two and they are not written down anywhere they are just in my head and in my heart. 

I want a different kind of life, actually not that I want to live my life differently that is I want a better me. The other one I cannot tell you now but in due time I will let you in on it.